Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
