i think my tv is drunk
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
