Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
