they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
