It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
