Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
