M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
