You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
