somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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