I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
