New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
