i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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