Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
