your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
