just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
