i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
