this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
false alarm, still single
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