im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
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