i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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