As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Randomize