guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
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