Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
