remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
