How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
