All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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