I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
