Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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