Don't you send me to vm
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
