she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize