Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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