you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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