i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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