The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
