I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
