I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
