Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
