I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
