Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
