Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
