I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
