he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
