If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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