i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
