wrigley field is MILF paradise
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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