I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize