just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
