We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
