We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
