i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I think I won the penis lottery.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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