all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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