The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
The beer is more important than you right now.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
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