Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
