I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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