my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
