New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
