Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
