is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
