I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
we're so committed to being not committed
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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