what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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