we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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