I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
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