who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
