Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I cockslap morals
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
