I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
