there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
