She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
