Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize