When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
