I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize